Tired of What Ifs

I am so tired

I am so tired

Tired mentally

Tired physically

Tired emotionally

Tired of never feeling genuinely happy

Tired of faking happiness

Tired of putting others before myself

Tired of always wanting to change but

Feeling restricted to change

Tired of not feeling respected

Tired of being belittled

Tired of not feeling appreciated

Tired of all of my flaws being addressed

But not my achievements

Tired of being confused

Tired of feeling stuck due to my heart

I am so tired

I am tired of the “What ifs”

I want so much more in my life

But what if I never get more

I want to become better

The person that I want to become is almost here

The person I want to become is restricted

By priority, respect, submission, and power

So what if that never changes

What if I can’t become who I want to be

Will it all have been worth it?

Will all of the hurt in my heart begin to expand?

I see who I want to be

But it is held back because I am so tired


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